Days Until Heartbreak/Judgement
no matter who friend of foe i'm facing judgement wherever i go part fourteen of Days Until Heartbreak I wake up for the fifth day in the row to find Ice gone. I've been staying in Ice's den for five days. I haven't really done anything more than lie in my new nest and rest until Ice comes back. And when he does, we do simple things in his den to keep us going. I don't ever leave his den, in fear of being seen. Ice doesn't encourage me either. In fact, he always told me to stay in his den when he left. "We don't want you to spark some revolution or something," he once said, "it's safer if you stay here. I'll be back soon." I don't pry on his business because he never asks what happened between me and Aura. Obviously he knows that because of our relationship I was driven out of my group but he didn't ask what escalated it and what my business was with Kayli and Kreg (he can probably guess it anyways). So I don't ask him where's he going. Like every day, there's a piece of prey waiting for me when I wake up. I gulp it down, as I'm starving. I quickly groom my fur and decide I'm going to take a stroll. I'm sick of staying holed up in the den or taking quick, small walks with Ice by my side. Who cares if I spark a revolution? I don't. I step outside and let the sunlight soak in my fur. Ice will have to wait; I have enough time with him anyways. I head for the forest instinctively, not even thinking about my fight with Aura or the whole dispute. I reach the border in no time and I lift a paw to step over the border just as the bush explodes next to me. "Stay back!" Patie's shrill voice sounds in my ear as something pushes me to the ground. My fighting instinct kicks in. I rear up and kick my attacker off and spin around to face Patie. "What was that for?" I demand as Hector picks herself off the ground. "I'm your leader-''" "Wrong," Aura's stiff mew sounds to my left. I whip my head around to stare at her. "You betrayed the group for a ''tom." Her blue eyes are cold. "Perhaps we should take you to the Dump to teach you a lesson, Sari. Isn't that what you did to all the she-cats who betrayed you?" I gulp. I know the Dump inside out. I know what it does to cats who I put in there. I know what I'' did to the cats I put in there. No way was I going there. "I'll leave," I mew quietly, "I'll never come back-" Aura is on me in an instant. "I promised myself I wouldn't be as cold as you were. But you will be the exception, Sari. You need to learn that you aren't always in control. You can't just throw cats around and believe that you are more powerful than anyone else." I don't struggle. I let her take me. Patie and Hector surround me and I let them. I let them drag me into camp where all of my former cats stare at me. I let them push me through the entrance of the Dump and restrain me with brambles. There's nobody else in the Dump but me. I've killed the rest after all. Frost is the one guarding the Dump tonight. She stares at me coldly but I ignore her. I let myself drown myself in my own sorrow. Because Aura is right. Kayli is right. They're ''all right. ~ For the next three days, Aura keeps me in the Dump. She doesn't do anything I did but the prolonged stay is enough. I can only imagine how Kayli felt when I tortured and beat her to the ground. No wonder she wanted to die. Aura stalks in. "I see the Dump is finally taking a toll on you." "Come to give me a death sentence?" I murmur, hanging my head. The silver she-cat shakes her head. "I've come to release you." My head snaps up in surprise. "Why? Nobody ever actually leaves the Dump. Well the only exception was Twilight." I see her stormy gaze and I stop. "I'm different," Aura mews softly as she nears me, "I'm telling you this because I want you to know. Plus, we had an unexpected visitor today." Dew, my guard today upwraps the bramble tendrils. "Come on, Sari, it's time for a final goodbye." I follow her obediently, though my legs were unsteady. I feel weak with exhaustion and when I step outside, I nearly tumble into Aura in shock. Ice is awkwardly standing in the middle of the clearing as the whole group of cats surround him. "Hey, Sari," he mews nonchalantly. "What in the name of the stars are you doing here?" I stutter. "I missed you," Ice raises an eyebrow, "I came to find you." Patie snorts. "Is Sari your new play thing, tom?" Ice glances over at her, his pale blue eyes calm. "No. I've come to tell her I love her. She doesn't deserve to be in such a place." His gaze rakes over my pelt, "Is this how you treat a former groupmate?" "She's a traitor!" someone yelps, "You have no right to barge into our home!" Aura waves her tail to silence them. "You can have her back," she says in her quiet, authoritive voice, "After all, she's yours now." I'm nobody's cat. I think fiercely. I quickly walk towards Ice, the cats parting quickly to avoid us. "Hey there, sweetheart," he murmurs as he touches his nose to mine. I know he's making a show for the cats, so I let him, "how are you?" "I'm wonderful now that you're here," I sigh in content as he nuzzles my cheek. Aura's sharp voice comes back to focus. "If you would leave us alone now..." Ice turns to her, "Of course." His voice is even and his eyes remain calm. Aura gazes right back at him, her face a devoid of emotion. As we take our leave, I silently take Aura for teaching me a small lesson. I'm not the one in control. I never was. ~ "You shouldn't have left like that," Ice scolds, "that was dangerous. You could have easily died but that silver she-cat was obvious lenient or else you wouldn't be here right now." "She wants to show me change," I shrug, "Plus, they didn't harm me." "Then why do you look like you didn't wash for three days?" "Because I didn't?" Ice lets out a frustrated sound. "I leave for the morning and when I come back you're gone and you don't return for three days. I thought you were dead, Sari!" "Have a little faith in me, darling." I lick my paw. The white tom bristles, "Yeah and let's see how that turned out." I frown at him. "I'm safe now, don't get so upset." Ice lashes his tail. "Seriously Sari, don't make fun of the situation. I'm just worried about you and it's hard enough as it is trying to keep you alive, you know?" "I don't need your protection." Ice looks furious. I've never quite seen him so mad. I don't know what's gotten into him. "Sari, I love you and I don't want you to get hurt. If you could stop doing rash things, I wouldn't have to worry, okay? Normally you going on a little walk would be fine but you're infamous. Everyone apparently hates you. It's rubbing off on me." Everyone hates me? The white tom turns away. "I can see it in your eyes that you want to see this for yourself. Go ahead, take a walk around. Go meet new cats and see how they react to your presense." I recall the couple with the kit that nearly attacked me. They had been stark terrified of me. I had to make sure this wasn't real. "Be back in a few," I murmur as I slip out. Ice sighs, "Just be careful." As I walk around, I head towards the part of the forest that other cats occupy. I make sure to scent the area every few steps to ensure that Aura's cats didn't get ahold of me again. Stars, Ice would have my pelt if he had to save me again. It isn't long before I hear a small squeak of fear. I whirl around and there's a tiny kit staring at me with big amber eyes. She's cowering behind a bush, as if trying not to be seen. "Are you lost?" I ask her quietly. She screams slightly and whimpers. "Please don't take me away. I don't want to join the anti-tom group. I want to live with my father forever!" I stand there, feeling cold. This kit believes that I'm going to take her away. Before I can say anything else, a she-cat pops out and shrieks. "Gale, what are you doing out here? Come back immediately." She doesn't even look at me as she hurriedly grabs her kit and runs. That's when I realize that Ice is right. They do ''fear me. And they probably ''judge me too for my actions. Wearily, I start the long trek back to Ice's den.